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  • Your Artificial Knee Might Get You Groped

    September 11, 2014

    August 11, 6 a.m.—San Francisco International Airport A twenty-something woman is running the back of her hand across the base of my breasts. I stand there, legs spread as she moves on to the inside of my thighs. She runs her hand underneath the waistline of my pants and across my buttocks. I’m angry and embarrassed. The woman touching me seems embarrassed, too. When she’s done her coworker,… read article

  • It’s a Bond with Upside Potential

    September 4, 2014

    In a renewed commitment to finally learn Spanish, one of my colleagues spent quite a bit of time this week awkwardly saying, “Qué es eso?” into the headset Rosetta Stone provides with its language learning programs. Translation: “What’s that?” Here in the US, the 10,000 or so people reaching retirement age each day often find themselves asking the same question—though maybe not out loud—when advisors use terms of art or casually mention sophisticated… read article

  • Vindicated: I Didn’t Believe the IRS Anyway

    August 28, 2014

    Lois Lerner’s emails are back from the dead—sort of. The former IRS director’s BlackBerry, however, is still long gone. The IRS intentionally destroyed it in June 2012 (after congressional staffers interviewed Lerner about the IRS targeting conservative groups) as the Deputy Assistant Chief Counsel acknowledged in a recent sworn declaration. We’ve all met someone we just don’t trust but don’t know why. There’s often a pretty good reason to feel that way. … read article

  • How You Can Play to Win When Market Makers Are Calling the Shots

    August 21, 2014

    The American Legion sponsored a carnival every summer when I was a young lad. My dad was a legionnaire, so each year I had a job. Beginning at age 12, I hauled soft drinks and food to the various concession booths well into the night, which probably violated some labor laws. Dad warned me about the carnival barkers, telling me to never play games where you try to win a giant teddy bear.… read article

  • Getting the Most Value from Your “Geriatric Cruiser”

    August 14, 2014

    For many a car lover, retiring rich requires the end of a lifelong love affair. I empathize with them all; I’ve had my own romance over the last 50-plus years. Cars have a special resonance for people of my generation. George Lucas’ classic coming of age film American Graffiti is proof positive of that. As teens we flocked to auto dealers when new models came out and fantasized about actually being able to… read article

  • Stop Investing in Leveraged ETFs

    August 7, 2014

    Bigger, faster, better. That’s the turbocharged investment we all want. Money Forever subscribers who pay close attention to our portfolio, though, will notice that we don’t hold leveraged ETFs—those with “2x” or “inverse” or “ultra” in their names, which some investors mistake for “better.” Exchange-traded funds (ETFs) are a great tool for many portfolios. They allow investors to profit from movements in a huge variety of assets grouped by industry, geography, presence in… read article

  • Three Ways to Be An Oddball and Make it Pay

    July 31, 2014

    Here in Florida, summer is the time to exercise indoors. From the middle of May through September, I take my routine morning walk on a treadmill looking out over the pond behind our house. I get to watch the cardinals and blue jays find the feeding block my wife Jo hung next to a tree outside the window. A menagerie of animals follow, picking up scraps below the bird block. Late in the afternoon,… read article

  • Indoor Acrobatics: The Cure for Money Stress?

    July 24, 2014

    Living in a small home can be dangerous, for seniors in particular. When I lived in a sub-400-square-foot apartment, basic tasks required Cirque du Soleil-like acrobatics. Pulling out the salad bowl meant hoisting myself on top of the garbage can while holding on to a water pipe, stepping onto the lip of the kitchen sink, and grabbing the bowl with one hand while clutching onto a ceiling overhang with the other—all while avoiding the… read article

  • Tap in to Your Inner Feminist-Real Estate Mogul Without Holding Real Property

    July 17, 2014

    The new book titled #GIRLBOSS by Sophia Amoruso—reformed petty thief and CEO of a $100 million online clothing store—is the latest “live and work as I do if you want to succeed” book from a string of brand-building female executives. Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg has women “leaning in,” while Arianna Huffington’s sleep crusade marches on in her latest book, Thrive. Now, I should confess that I haven’t actually read any of these books; one… read article

  • In a World Where 26 Equals 18, Make “Home” Unwelcoming

    July 10, 2014

    My youngest son, who is now in his 50s, asked me what it felt like when all the children left the nest. I thought for a moment and said: For my entire adult life, I’d driven a boat down a clearly marked narrow channel. I had to stay between the markers in order to provide for my family. Then, when you and your siblings left, I came to a vast ocean with… read article

  • Rock Concerts, and How to Find On-Sale Stocks to Fuel a Rock-Star Retirement

    July 3, 2014

    Have you ever wondered what really happens behind the scenes at a rock concert? My good friend Stew is a top audio engineer—you know, the guy who wears thousand-dollar headphones and stands below the stage manning dials at rock concerts the world over. I shadowed him backstage a handful of times, and the scene was not what I thought it would be. Sure, they all dressed the rocker part, but I was blown away… read article

  • Six Women Who Made Me Rich, and What They Can Teach You

    June 26, 2014

    My grandmother refused to share the heart-wrenching details until I was in the Marine Corps. I’d heard bits and pieces about my ne’er-do-well father but didn’t fully grasp the devastation he’d left behind until Grandmother spilled the story with tears in her eyes: Your father never worked. After you were born, he stole all the money in the house, vanished, and was never seen again. Fortunately, your mother had gone back to… read article

  • In a World Where Mr. Rogers Rules Wall Street

    June 19, 2014

    Wall Street is “rigged.” That’s the word Michael Lewis, author of the new bestseller Flash Boys, is spreading among the news networks, and it’s produced a vast outcry in the financial community. Really? As Gordon Gekko, the unscrupulous corporate raider in the ‘87 classic Wall Street, says, “Come on, pal. Tell me something I don’t know.” There’s a lot to learn from Gekko, who spends the bulk of the film demanding a… read article

  • A Guy Leans on a Lamppost… and You Make a Buck

    June 12, 2014

    To paraphrase Scottish novelist Andrew Lang, some people use statistics like a drunk uses lampposts—for support rather than illumination. Numbers can be twisted and abused to support false claims, and even correct data is sometimes misinterpreted. Today I want to clear the fog around two critical statistical measures, beta and correlation, and explain how they can help you invest smarter. There are many other statistical measures out there, but these two are critical… read article

  • Your Key out of College Debtors’ Prison

    June 5, 2014

    This month, as proud parents listen to dull or overzealous high-school commencement speakers nationwide, many will (or should) wonder: Is paying for college the best way to equip my kid to support himself, and what will I give up to do it? The holder of a bachelor’s degree can expect to earn about $2.42 million over a 40-year working life, according to Synthetic Work-Life Earnings (SWE) estimates based on US Census Bureau data.… read article

  • Beer, Bears, and a Canoe: Your Guide to Lower Travel Costs

    May 29, 2014

    Since leisure was last weekend’s theme, I spent it in a canoe—a cheap and energy-efficient way to see the Everglades, though not at all speedy. That was fine—I just wanted to see alligators in their natural habitat, enjoy a frosty beverage with good company, and return to the city with my limbs intact. My nature-sighting report: zero panthers, one alligator, and one black bear (more on the bear later). No, Dennis did not… read article

  • How to Die in Dignity Without Leaving Your Spouse to Starve

    May 22, 2014

    We’d all been waiting for the big day, but the chapel the ceremony took place in was very small—just a room with Christian symbols and a few chairs. Jo’s father was waiting for us in his hospital bed, grinning from ear to ear. Despite the feeding tube, he still managed to devour a few bites of our wedding cake. Parkinson’s is a powerful disease; it can take the sturdiest tree in the forest and… read article

  • Hiroshima 2014: Should You Fear the “Nuclear Solution” to Underfunded Public Pensions?

    May 15, 2014

    Public pensions are sounding their death rattle, and you might be the one who ends up paying the undertaker. With few exceptions, state and local pension funds are woefully underfunded. Five heavily populated states—California, Illinois, Ohio, New Jersey, and Texas—are collectively underfunded by $431.5 billion. That’s according to those states’ own accounts published in a 2012 Harvard University study that was led by former Assistant Treasury Secretary Tom Healy. Accounting for current… read article

  • Collateral Damage: What You and Monica Lewinsky Have in Common

    May 8, 2014

    Collateral damage can assume many forms—and though some may be more newsworthy than others, the latter are no less real, nor any less frightening. On Tuesday, controversial radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh called Monica Lewinsky “collateral damage in Hillary Clinton’s war on women,” saying that President Bill Clinton and his wife destroyed the former White House intern “after he got his jollies, after he got his consensual whatevers.” Last month, Jeremy… read article

  • In Praise of Silda Spitzer’s $7.5 Million Payout from Client 9

    May 1, 2014

    Paying north of $80,000 for prostitutes has cost one AARP-eligible New Yorker a whole lot more. Per the terms of their leaked postnuptial agreement, Eliot Spitzer, the shamed but shameless former New York governor, will hand his stoic ex-wife title to their Fifth Avenue home plus $7.5 million in cash and will pay her a $240,000 allowance every year until she dies or remarries plus an annual $100,000 charity stipend. With their none-too-surprising… read article

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About the Author

Over the course of his career, Dennis Miller has consulted with many Fortune 500 companies, training hundreds of executives to effectively communicate the value of their company's products to their customers. Among his many multi-national clients are: GE, Mobil, Shell, Schlumberger, HP, IBM, Corning Glass, Eastman Kodak, AC Nielsen, and Johns-Manville.

An active international lecturer for 40 years, Dennis wrote several books on sales and sales management. He was a contributor to... read more

The BookRetirement Reboot

I was 68 and recently retired when the bottom fell out from under my money, and I don't mind telling you I was scared to death.

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Premium GuidanceMoney Forever

Unless you started out with a very large nest egg, outliving your money is probably as deep a concern for you as it was for me just a few years ago.

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